A Giant Passes ~ Dr. Emmanuel Foluso Okunola Oyinlola 8 October 1937 – 17 March 2021
When I was about 13 years old, I spent the summer with my cousins in Kaduna. Kaduna is in the Northern part of Nigeria. It is about a couple of hours from Abuja. This was my first trip alone away from my parents and siblings so I felt a little out of place. I remember that summer dearly because of daddy Kaduna. My uncle. Mummy and Daddy Kaduna – this was the way fondly way, we called our aunty and uncle – at the time. They lived in Kaduna and so their designate was naturally attached to the city.
Daddy Kaduna relocated to Okuku his place of birth about twenty five years ago primarily because of the violence in the North. He was still called Daddy Kaduna. I have not been to Kaduna since I was about 13 years old, but to date, I have retained the bragging rights about this city. My cousins took me to the first cinema in the city owned possibly by General Babaginda. We did all the touristic things and I learnt to eat tuwo and maybe even learnt how to speak a little hausa.
I was close to Ope and through his eyes, I saw daddy Kaduna train his sons. He has three sons and two daughters. Several things were different about their household: every one waited for the other. For example, when we were going out and someone had not gotten ready, the culture was that aunty Ayo, mum and dad Kaduna would patiently wait for that child to be ready. It seemed like our household in Ibadan was chaotic. I learnt that summer that we can be kindness was being patient.
I saw daddy Kaduna drink beer with his eldest son Uncle Folusho. I watched them talk into the night. I cannot remember what they talked about but he was a father who talked to his children. He made the time. This made an impression on me as it was before I started to talk to my dad.
Daddy Kaduna and I talked that summer. We talked about my reflections and I remember him saying that my dad loved me and I could be sure of that. I was about 13 but I felt a lot older.
The summer came to an end and I had to return to my parents, but I never forgot Kaduna.
Travelling overseas is a curse and a blessing. It takes you away from the people who love you unconditionally. In some cases, it changes you. I have been to Nigeria several times and visited with daddy Kaduna in Okuku but it is that summer I remember the most now and I hold on too.
Daddy Kaduna was different from the rest of my dad’s brothers. He took time to talk to me. We had a relationship. I wasn’t just another stray appendage of the family. I belonged.
Two days ago, uncle Folusho posted on Facebook that daddy Kaduna had passed away. He was 83 years old. From my dad’s generation, he was the last to go the way of his ancestors. He was a father and grand father. At some point I know we will all say goodbye, this one caught me off guard. He was daddy Kaduna. The expectation was that he would live for ever.
Dr. Emmanuel Foluso Okunola Oyinlola
8 October 1937 – 17 March 2021
Sunre oo
