“Growth starts with awareness,” Shayla reiterates. Behaviour activation involves setting an intention and then doing the work. Often, we may lack motivation, but our discipline helps us achieve our intentions, allowing us to follow through with “purpose and passion.” Understanding your “WHY” is crucial for your plan’s success.
When you pursue goals in isolation, it’s easy to lose sight of them. However, having an accountability partner, like family or friends, can significantly increase your motivation. “The road is tougher and longer when we are travelling journeys in solitary.” Doing life with your “tribe” is essential, especially for setting and achieving goals.
Being kind and compassionate to ourselves helps in dealing with frustrations and disappointments. We often tie our self-worth to our achievements and can be hard on ourselves when we fail, forgetting to acknowledge our past victories. Extending grace and compassion to ourselves allows us to recognize that we can always start over. “We fail when we give up.” Shayla emphasizes that goals are often a reflection of our mindset at the time. View your goal as “more of a journey than a destination.” Her slogan, “we grow what we water,” is wise advice for maintaining a balanced perspective on life.
Change is constant and inevitable, and transformation is possible. “Some change is intentional, and some just comes with the territory of being human.” It’s a matter of perspective. Shayla asks, “What transformation are you looking at, and how are you measuring it?” Being true to oneself is imperative. Walk into new spaces and expect the best. When things don’t turn out as expected, having a support system helps us cope.
Even though we live in a different world from the past, we can define what family, neighbours, and community mean to us. Depending on the person, this could mean connecting through church or our child’s school. If we don’t have “the village,” we can create it.
Shayla transitioned from AHS (Alberta Health Services) to private practice, where she continues to work on anti-racism and focuses on collective psychotherapy through workshops and cultural consulting. You can find her on LinkedIn as Shayla S. Dube, on Instagram @Ubuntucentredpractice, and on Psychology Today as part of the Alberta Black Therapist network.
